Wednesday, May 31, 2017

"I am crying on the inside"



"I am crying on the inside"



Deep down, inside, I am crying, but no one can see how I feel
When you're a man, it is not expected, but in my mind I know it is real
I cry all the time on the inside, afraid to express how I feel
The tears they build up with emotion, but in my mind, I have to conceal

Everybody going about doing their own thing, never giving, a thought just for me
I don't show my feelings like they do, how I feel, they just cannot see
Many times I have thoughts now of leaving, I just have to leave and get away
There is no one in my family who needs me; it's really hard, right now for me to stay

Friends tell me how I'm getting older, which I try so hard to ignore
But every day I'm always reminded, it penetrates, deeply to the core
The struggle, it is too hard to handle, I know I can't take it anymore
My wife, she has even disowned me, I know our marriage, is just about o'er

I'm not looking for sympathy from no one, especially when they don't understand
It's hard to communicate how I feel; after all, I am just a man
I've tried so hard in this life just to make it, but things keep falling apart
I think it's time for me, to have to leave now, I think it's time to make a brand new start
 
I've given my family everything, through the years now I'm kind of broke
My family seem to be self-centred and I feel that it is a joke
I get up early in the morning and bake muffins and really, only think of them
As I'm standing in my kitchen I am crying, on the inside, I know it is the end

I just made my kids some frittatas, because I know I love all of them
It helps them when they're hungry; I make them now and again
Feeling lonely through life as I walk alone, as I'm always feeling condemned
Right now I'm crying on the inside, yes I know, I am just a man

Written by Chris Turner
May 31, 2017

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

"Father, thank you"



"Father, thank you"



Father, thank you for your grace, mercy and everlasting love
Father, thank you for your blessings in my life you send from above
Father, thank you for your Spirit, for your guidance when I'm feeling lost
Father, thank you for the sacrifice of Jesus who died on the cross

Father, thank you for your faithfulness especially when I let you down
Father, thank you for your patience it is good to know you are around
Father, thank you for the hope every day when I fall apart
Father, thank you for the joy that you place deep within my heart

Father, thank you for the strength that I need when I'm feeling drained
Father, thank you for your hand and the healing when I am in pain
Father, thank you for your presence as I walk and when I start to pray
Father, thank you for my voice and my song as I give you praise

Father, thank you for your word that you gave many years ago
Father, thank you for the wisdom that you give so that we will know
Father, thank you for the prayers that you answer when we call on you
Father, thank you for the love that you show in everything you do

Written by Chris Turner
May 30, 2017

"Overdosed"



"Overdosed"


Another drink before I go to sleep another shot in the arm
As I lay down on the street it will do me no harm
I don't have no-one; I don't have no-one
I don't have no friends

I'm gonna snort a little coke now as I sit in the dark
I'm gonna lay on the bench maybe walk through the park
I don't have no-one; I don't have no-one
I don't have no friends

 As I'm looking at the moon I see demons from the past
They are coming now to get me I'm leaving here at last
I don't have no-one; I don't have no-one
I don't have no friends
  
Chorus
I can see them in the air as far as I can tell
Flames in their tales looks like they just came up from hell
Eyes bulge like fire……. O' God…….. It's just like hell

I can see they're getting closer now my mind engulfed with fear
Somebody wakes me, a nightmare, I'm still here
I don't have no-one, I don't have no-one
I don't have no friends
I don't have no-one, I don't have no-one
I have no friends

 As I'm lying in the doorway with a needle in my arm
Feel it rushing through my veins I've done all that I can
I don't have no-one; I don't have no-one
I don't have no friends

 Chorus
I can see them in the air as far as I can tell
Flames in their tales looks like they just came up from hell
Eyes bulge like fire……. O' God…….. It's just like hell

I can see they're getting closer now my mind engulfed with fear
Somebody wakes me, a nightmare, I'm still here
I don't have no-one, I don't have no-one
I don't have no friends
I don't have no-one, I don't have no-one
I have no friends


Could someone help me, could someone help me, please take my hand.
Could someone help me, could someone help me, I need a friend.


Written by Chris Turner
May 30, 2017.

Monday, May 29, 2017

Thank You


Thank You
Every day has its struggles Lord when I don't know what to do
That is when Lord that I raise my hands and I say a prayer to you
I see the sunrise as it appears today it gives me hope and soothes my soul
Lord I know it's not impossible 'cause I know you're in control

When I see the troubles I endure you are hard at work for me
You will build my faith to believe in you, you will show me victory
That is why that I thank you, Lord, and for all, you've done for me
If I put my trust in you alone to keep the faith and just believe

Yes, I thank you for your favor Lord Yes; I thank you for your love
Yes, I thank you for all you've done for me that was sent from Heaven above
Yes, I thank you for your kindness Lord when I call upon your name
Lord, I thank you for your graciousness your love for me will never change.

Written by Chris Turner
May 29, 2017

Friday, May 19, 2017

Dreams and Desires



Dreams and Desires


I give you my life Lord and the past, of disappointments and dreams that didn't last
Resolutions that I made that didn't transpire; I guess my mind, lost the desire

Yes I know what you have placed inside of me, the type of person Lord you wanted me to be
All the gifts and the talents deep inside, I just can't hide

Things didn't turn out in my life the way I planned; sometimes, I forget that I am just a man
Setbacks came and I didn't know what to do, fulfill my dreams and my desires I trust in you

My destiny you've placed inside my heart, sometimes, I need something fresh a brand new start
The vision is not about where I've been, but what I dream....... yes, it's what I dream

Written by Chris Turner
May 19, 2017

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Facing the burden alone



Facing the burden alone


I talked to my son just the other day
I told him of the bills that I had to pay
I said, could you help right now, I'm feeling kind of broke
A resounding "No" came from him were the only words that he spoke

He said I'm not giving you anything it is not my job
The money that I make is for me when I shop
Why should I give you money, after all, it's your, responsibility?
I couldn't believe what I heard and that he, said this to me

I said when I pay the rent you enjoy the home we have
You've been living in our home ever since you were a lad
Electricity, water, and heat, it don't come cheap
It's only fair that you help and contribute, to go toward your keep

I said twenty-five percent is not a lot to ask
When we put up the gazebo in the sun you will bask
You enjoy all the things we supply as you can see
Internet, cable, telephone, a comfy couch to watch T.V.

As the months went along he disregarded all I said
He would come home from work eat chips and pop then go to bed
Spend lots of money on groceries so that he, can eat and be fed
Looks like we'll struggle once again for today and the days that lie ahead

I said for seventeen years we've kept you every day
Never have we ever asked for anything for you to pay
Celebrations at Christmas, birthdays in between we gave a few
Now we're struggling, things are tough and we need, some help from you

Disregarding all I've said ignoring what we need
He'll sit down and eat dinner ignoring all our pleas
I can see that the struggle, that I face, I'm going it on my own
Can't do more, at least I tried, I guess I face, this burden all alone

Written by Chris Turner
May 18, 2017